Thanks

Last night delegation leader Steve Schwartz organized a debriefing/concluding dinner at a fabulous vegan restaurant on the Upper East Side. It was my first real day at the UN, given my crazy finals schedule, and I was surprised at how exhausting it was. I hadn't remembered the constant stimulation the UN provides. The best of the day for me, though, was chatting with our Agents. For the first time, I realized what a diverse group of young people we are, and how many different perspectives of America and American youth we bring to the table. I sat at the UN cafeteria, sharing a delicious piece of cake with a fellow delegation leader, and talked with one of our Agents about microfinance in an Indian village and our similar struggles forging an American identity from our Indian heritage. Later, I discussed different personality types at the UN and how different people are better suited to different roles within the sustainable development movement. We have outspoken Agents, introspective Agents, creative Agents- we often focus on factors like age and geographical diversity, but yesterday I realized that we're also lucky to have a real diversity of opinions, personalities, and dreams.
Over dinner, I spoke with our Agent from Nebraska (I feel weird about using people's names, which is why I'm avoiding it) about politics in the middle of the country versus the coasts. I discovered my own prior ignorance- while I spend time trying to understand the European or African perspectives on climate change at the UN, for example, I had never sat down with someone from a "red" state and really tried to understand the way that Americans there see the world. A discussion on "American values" and domestic policy was probably one of the most revealing moments of this experience for me.
At the World Youth Alliance party, we marveled at their amazing space, drank beer and Diet Coke, and reflected upon the last two weeks. Juan Pablo, our amazing national programs coordinator and I reflected upon the past year, on the hours we've spent on the phone and on email coordinating every last bit of this two weeks, only to realize that nothing could actually prepare us for this experience. It hasn't been easy- there have been conference calls on the night before important papers were due, late nights searching Craigslist for an apartment during spring break, and plenty of moments when I feared my coordination would just break down altogether. We both agreed, though, that what made the last year worth it for us was watching the Agents at the CSD (and CSocD, in my case). SustainUS definitely added value to this conference- we added energy, expertise on the issues, professionalism, and hard work. In addition, I watched Agents, and delegation leaders, change in the past two weeks. Some people realized that this is what they want to do with their lives; they want to be activists and lobbyists on an international arena. Some people made an equally valuable discovery: that this, in fact, is absolutely NOT what they want to do. Still others came away with a concrete cause and a plan of action, while I could see the wheels turning as others processed and analyzed their experiences here.
I don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't know which of my hundreds of pet causes I actually want to devote myself to. A lot of times at this fast paced crowded university campus, I feel lost and useless, like I'm just treading water until fate moves me in one direction or another. But while I'm in limbo, whle I'm unsure of what I want to do next, there's nothing I'd rather to than help out these people who, in a way, are very, very far ahead of me. Our Agents are inspired, focused, and ready to go out and be the change... I'm honored that I could have some part in helping them do that. I can think of no better way that I could have spent my sleepness nights or my frenzied days, and I know that this process has helped me figure out where I can do my own part, make my own change.
Thanks, guys!